


one to make your heart remember me

by sugdensrobert



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Supportive Aaron, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:35:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27439690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdensrobert/pseuds/sugdensrobert
Summary: a collection of ficlets and prompt fills.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 15
Kudos: 94





	1. blankets

**Author's Note:**

> "Quit it! You’re hogging the blankets!"

“Thank you for letting me stay” he whispers, voice still hoarse from all the crying.

“Don’t be daft, you’re always welcome here you know that.”

“I know. My dad would have a fit if he saw us like this.” It’s not important, it shouldn’t matter but Robert can’t always stop the way his brain works.

“He’s not here Rob.” Aaron says gently. Robert shuffles closer to his boyfriend, nuzzling his face in his neck. He feels Aaron’s hand rubbing at his back.

He’s calmed down now, thanks to his boyfriend. There had been another shouting match at home, one of the really bad ones. Both his parents hurling abuse at each other, doors being slamming shut, fists banged on tables. Part of him feels bad for running, he thinks of his little sister probably crying in her bedroom on her own and his heart twists. He holds at Aaron even tighter, his boyfriend responding immediately “you okay?” Robert sniffs and nods clumsily in response. He is.

He had run into the pub, he must have looked a right state because Chas had sent him straight up to Aaron’s room.

That’s where they were now, cuddled up together, breathing softly. No shouting or screaming, just the occasional laughter coming from the pub. Robert puts some distance between them so he can look at Aaron. “Do you think I should go back, for Vic?” Aaron cups his face and smiles sadly. “I know you want to comfort her, but if you’re asking me I think you should do what’s best for you. And right now that’s a good night’s sleep in a safe environment. We can go see Vic in the morning can’t we? And then I’m there with you.”

_Robert loves him so much._

“My dad might be horrible to you.” Robert can deal with his dad’s snidey remarks towards him, towards them but not when Aaron is there to hear it too.

“I really don’t care. I am your boyfriend not his.” Robert snorts.

“I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, get some sleep eh?” Aaron says, pressing a kiss into his hair.

_Quit it! You’re hogging the blankets!_

Robert blinks, needing a second before realising he’s in his boyfriend’s bed.

“Eh?” he croaks out.

“I am cold!” it’s dark but Robert can just about make out Aaron’s pout.

“Oh sorry” he giggles. “You should have woken me or you know- just tried harder to get some for yourself.”

“Well clearly you’re awake now- and I didn’t want you to be cold.” Robert’s heart squeezes “I am not, I promise. If I do it again just give me a shove or something.”

“Idiot” Aaron mumbles, grinning as he reaches out to hold onto Robert again tightly.


	2. you're amazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Regardless of what they think, I know you’re an amazing person.”

“Aaron. I’m serious, if you see him tell him he needs to come home pronto.” Aaron rolls his eyes, not making any effort to let Jack Sugden know he’s been listening.

“Are you still there? Aaron?” Aaron sighs audibly before hanging up the phone.

“Who was that, you look annoyed?” He hears his mum say, frowning as she walks into the backroom.

“Nothing mum.” Aaron says, he’s surprised that his mum wasn’t eavesdropping in the first place.

“Oi, no need to be so rude.” She replies as Aaron sits down on the couch, not quite looking at his mum.

“Have you and Robert had a row or summat, haven’t seen him in ages.”Aaron tuts, just wants to be left alone- to worry. “No, we’re fine and you’re exaggerating, he was having his breakfast here yesterday morning.”

“Ah, guess I’m just used to seeing his mug around here every minute of every day.”

“Mum.”

“What? You know I like the boy.”

“Well yeah..” Aaron says, worry setting in again.

“So, what’s up?”

“He’s been off for a while now and I don’t know why. It’s probably summat to do with Jack and Andy but I can’t get it out of him. That was Jack just now, he’s not at home and Jack thought he was here.

“So where is he? Shouldn’t you be looking for him?”

Aaron shrugs his shoulders before whispering, “not sure he wants me to, to be honest, I-“  
  
“Aaron.” His mum says sternly and Aaron knows he can’t get away with not telling her.

“It’s just-“ He sighs and then continues, “I think it might be my fault you know? Because we’re together now, like properly and Jack’s a homophobe.” It’s not his place to tell her everything Robert’s told him so he just says “Robert’s having a hard time with it, I can tell- but he won’t let me help.”

“Love.” His mum says softly and Aaron feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest now he’s talking to someone about his guilt.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not Robert’s either. I suppose it’s understandable that he might feel- well that he doesn’t exactly know how to feel. This is all new to him isn’t it?”  
  
Aaron nods, “yeah.”

“Has he told you about Jack’s reaction?”

“Not really, he said he told him that we were going out now, properly, and that Jack wasn’t chuffed about it but that’s about it.”

Aaron gulps at the memory of that moment, the way he had looked his boyfriend over to see if he’d been hurt, not being able to forget what Robert had told him about what happened to him when he was 15.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to upset you. You’re both as stubborn as each other, love. Go find him and talk to him, don’t let it lie- it won’t do you any good, neither of ya.”

It sounds like something Robert would do, protecting Aaron from possible pain and upset.

“I’ve got to go and find him.” Aaron says, hurrying out of the door before even thanking his mum.

He’s pretty sure he knows where to find Robert, prays that he’s right.

—

Aaron breathes a sigh of relief when he nears the cricket pavilion and spots his boyfriend sitting on the entrance steps.

“Thought I’d find you here.” He says when he’s sure Robert will be able to hear him. Robert gives him a weak smile and Aaron sits next to him, knees touching.

He’s suddenly not sure what to say, doesn’t want to upset Robert any further.

“Did something happen, at home? You’ve been off lately and I don’t want to push ya- but I’m worried about ya Rob, you can tell me you know?”

He hears a sniff to his right and his heart clenches. “Rob.”

“I’m- I’m fine, just same old same old at home.”

Aaron sighs, knows it’s bad at the farm but he needs to know how bad, if it’s his fault.

“What does that mean Robert, I- I’m sorry. I just want to help ya.”

“You can’t Aaron, trust me.”

“Is it my fault?” Aaron blurts out before he can stop himself.

“What?” Robert stammers.

“Jack, the rowing- is he mad because of me, because of us?”

“No- no, it’s- is that what you think?” Robert is looking at him, blinking quickly and Aaron shakes his head before nodding shyly. He doesn’t want to make it about him but he _knows_ he’s made things worse for Robert.

Robert grabs Aaron’s hand and squeezes it. With Robert being so off lately it feels like it’s been ages since they’ve touched each other, he squeezes his boyfriend’s hand in return.

“Aaron, it’s not you, I promise. You’re the only person getting me through all this. He’s known about me liking boys for a while and well- with us being so close, I think he always expected it to happen at some point- especially after you’d come out… it’s just- he doesn’t like me Aaron.” Robert says it so softly, so matter of factly that it breaks Aaron’s heart.

“It’s because of all sorts of reasons. I’m not like him or Andy- I don’t want to work on the farm, I want to go to university. I enjoy cooking and reading and I should be used to it all by now but for some reason it’s been getting me down recently.. and yeah my sexuality doesn’t make me any more popular with him- but that’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either.” Aaron’s echoes the words his mum said earlier, says it in that same, stern way. He needs Robert to know that. “None of it is your fault Rob, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

Robert just shrugs his shoulders and Aaron shakes his head. He softly lays a hand on Robert’s cheek, turns his face towards him. “I mean it Rob- _regardless of what they think, I know you’re an amazing person._ And Jack’s mad not to see that, so’s Andy.”

“Aaron-“

“No I mean it.” Robert needs to know.

“I’m so proud of ya, for coming out to him when you felt ready, for being yourself. Don’t even change especially not for him. I’m so lucky to be your boyfriend.”

“Aaron, shut up.”

“No I won’t, you deserve to hear it.”

Robert’s shaking his head in bewilderment before taking Aaron’s other hand in his. “Thank you- for being so patient and understanding. I know I’ve been off and weird lately. It’s not you though yeah?”

Aaron nods, “don’t worry about it. We just- we need to talk about these things yeah?”

“I know and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize Robert, I get it yeah? This stuff is hard- just know you always have a place with me _and_ my mad lot.”

Robert laughs and Aaron’s relieved to see how much more relaxed Robert looks right now.

“Shall we go back to mine then? You can stay as long as you want, mum won’t mind.” Aaron says as he keeps hold of one of his boyfriend’s hands and stands up, hopes that Robert agrees because there is no way he is leaving him alone either to stay here or go back to the farm.

“Yes, I’d like that. Oh and Aaron?”

“Yeah?” Aaron says, turns back around, still loosely holding on to Robert’s fingers.

His boyfriend looks shy for a minute before looking more assured, eyes sparkling. “I love you.”

Aaron’s heart could burst, it really could.

“I love you too.” He says sincerely, smiling so wide it almost hurts. He closes the space between them and pecks Robert on the lips.


	3. a ring

“We can get it back tomorrow if ya like?”

“What?” Robert frowns, resting his cheek against the top of Seb’s head who’s dozing against his chest, clearly ready for bed.

“Your mum’s ring.” Aaron answers as he comes to sit next to them.

“Oh.” Robert adverts his eyes, can’t cope with Aaron’s stare.

“I just can’t believe she’d do that but-“ Robert mumbles, not quite sure what it is he wants to say. Because he sort of understands and most importantly, Vic is safe _and_ she still has the money.

“Do you remember what she said, when all of this started? She asked what I would do, if it were you out there somewhere and I had no idea whether you were safe or not. And I would do anything to find ya.”

“Rob.” Aaron says gently, like he knows that about a million thoughts are running through Robert’s head.

Robert sighs, “I get it- it just hurts to know that she pawned mum’s wedding ring but it also hurts to know Adam has moved on- I’m not sure how to feel. Sorry.”

“For what?” Aaron frowns.

“It’s not even about me, it’s about Vic- and you because Adam is your best mate but-“

Aaron tuts as he scoots even closer to Robert, eyes softening as he sees how Seb has properly fallen asleep now.

“You’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling yeah?” He takes Robert’s hand, holding it in his gently.

Robert nods, gulping away the lump in his throat. He can’t believe he gets to have this, that he’s _married_ to someone who just gets him, someone who cares about how he feels. It’s been months since they’ve gotten back together but he’s still counting his lucky stars.

_That’s a bit harsh_

Robert remembers what Aaron had said to his sister, how he had acknowledged how her words had hurt. Because that ring is important to him but he knows it’s important to Vic as well.

Even when they first started out, Aaron had been the one Robert had talked to, had opened up to about his family. It was Aaron who he’d vented to about Andy getting their dad’s wedding ring. Aaron didn’t really get it back then but Robert knows that his husband does now. That his family history is still something that hurts him, something that he will always carry with him.

“Rob?” Aaron’s voice shakes him out of his thoughts. He blinks quickly.

“Sorry.”

“You alright?”

“Yeah. I just- I don’t know what I would do without you, you know?”

“Shut up.” Aaron laughs although the worry is still evident on his face.

“Vic didn’t mean it you know?” Aaron says and Robert nods, feel safe in that knowledge. “It’s like you said- I would do anything to get to you too. I hate that this is hurting her though..” He trails off and Robert gets it.

“It’s better like this. Adam would hate for her to live a life on the run. And this way she gets to move on too, find someone else.” He gulps, can’t imagine being in his sister’s position, or Adam’s for that matter.

“We’re so lucky.” He says, echoing Aaron’s words on their wedding day. “We’re lucky to have each other, and him,” Robert says, kissing Seb’s head, feeling his heart melt as he watches Aaron stroke at Seb’s arm lovingly.

He could never imagine letting this go, feels ill just thinking about it. He remembers Vic pointing out exactly that.

_The way you feel about each other, imagine someone telling you to let that go._

He feels angry, angry at Adam for leaving Vic even though he would never want his sister to live a life on the run, angry at Adam for moving on even though it means he gets to keep his sister here.

“We are, so lucky.” Aaron says, leaning in to press a kiss to Robert’s head. “But you’re still allowed to be upset because Vic pawned your mum’s ring alright? Even if we can both imagine doing the same thing for each other.” He sighs before taking Robert’s hand again, squeezing it slightly.

“So here’s what we’re going to do. Tomorrow we’ll go round to Vic’s, ask her to buy back the ring or we will offer to do it.”

“What if she doesn’t want to?”

“She will, she’s just angry and upset right now. She wants it back too, it’s important to you both. And otherwise we will find another way.”

“But-“

“It’s important to you, so it’s important to me. We’ll get it back Rob- it belongs to the both of you.”

“Thank you.” Robert says, once again overwhelmed by how much Aaron loves him.

“But first we’re going to try and get this one to bed without waking him up.” Aaron says and Robert stifles a grin, realising that that might be the hardest task of all.


	4. memories

“Hiya, what’s that?” Aaron asks as he walks into the Mill. Robert’s sitting at the kitchen table, a cardboard box in front of him.

“Oh hiya.” Robert says, but he doesn’t turn around and it makes Aaron wonder what he’s up to.

As he gets closer he sees all sorts sticking out of the box that is pretty much filled to the brim. Cards, letters, newspapers, some toys and a few photo albums.

“Hiya” Robert says again, looking slightly sheepish but there’s a sadness to his expression and it makes Aaron worry immediately.

Aaron sits down and looks at the card that his husband is holding. It says _6 today_ and it’s enough to make Aaron realise what all of this stuff is. It also explains his husband's upset expression.

“Diane brought this round earlier. I had no idea she even had all this- well she didn’t either I guess. She’s been clearing out the attic, brought some stuff over to Vic as well. I’m not sure why she even had this in the first place but maybe my dad kept it, after my mum kept it and it somehow ended up with her.”

Aaron nods, heart squeezing painfully as he listens. He never stops wishing that he could have met Sarah, who was so important to Robert and played such a big part in shaping him into the person he is today. He wishes she hadn’t been taken from his husband when he had already lost his biological mum when he was just a few months old. Aaron never forgets that his husband has been through a lot in his life but things like this always serve as another painful reminder.

“Wasn’t sure if I actually wanted to go through it- thought about chucking it all straight away, but once I looked at one card I couldn’t stop.

“Can I?” Aaron asks as his hand hovers above the box.

“Course.”

Aaron opens one of the newspapers, not sure what he’s looking for until he sees it and snorts.

“Is that you?” A blond boy is looking straight back at him, toothy smile and everything.

Robert lets out a little laugh. “Yeah. I don’t know why they put in another photo of just me.”

“Maybe because you’re quite cute.”

“Is that a compliment from you Mr Dingle?”

“Sugden-Dingle. And well you were- and still are, sometimes.” Aaron grins, knows he’s blushing but it’s worth it because his husband is smiling again, the sadness to his expression disappearing.

“The farm was holding some sort of village party, that’s why we were in the papers.”

Aaron smiles, eyes gliding over the article.

“It’s nice to have all this, you know?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” Robert says and Aaron looks at him questioningly.

“It’s just- now I have all this I’m not sure what to do with it.”

“Keep it, to look at whenever you want to, or need to.”

“But where- we don’t really have room do we?” Robert takes out some of his drawings, drawings that look very similar to Seb’s recent drawings.

“I want to keep all of this stuff for Seb too, his drawings and all his other artwork, especially the ones he’s made for us.”

“There’s room for all that, in our attic- or wherever you want to keep it really. I think Seb will soon be old enough to understand the concept of something like a memory box, we can buy some nice boxes for his stuff, and all of this stuff.”

Robert nods but there’s a faraway look on his face.

“Rob? I didn’t mean to upset ya. If you don’t want to keep this stuff because it makes you sad that’s okay too. Whatever you want.”

“No, no I’m not upset.” Robert says, speaking gently as he lays a hand on top of Aaron’s.

“I just really love you, you know?”

“I love you too.” Aaron says sincerely, knowing he will always do everything in his power to make Robert happy, to make the hard and painful memories a bit easier to cope with.

“Let’s have a look at what else is in here eh?” He says and Robert gives him a look that is so full of love that Aaron has to gulp.

“I’d like that.”


	5. together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set somewhere on the 24 of may 2018 :)

“Rob?” Aaron asks as he goes to sit next to his husband. “You alright?”

“Yeah sorry- I was miles away there.”

Aaron sighs, thinks back to how different things still were only a week ago. Bad luck, sadness and upset always seem to follow them though and Aaron wishes it would just stop. He bites his lip as he stares at Robert, who doesn’t seem to notice him doing so, he’s still wearing that same faraway expression on his face.

_He has Robert_ , he realises. There had been a time not even so long ago that he had to deal with all of his problems on his own. He wasn’t going to take Robert or them for granted ever again, the past week had once again shown how quickly good things could be taken away.

He lays a hand on Robert’s knee, hoping that the gesture will once again catch his attention.

It seems to work, Robert turns his head and gives him a small smile.

“I’m sorry.” Aaron says and it clearly takes the older man by surprise.

“For what?” Robert asks, voice soft, gentle.

“For making things even more difficult. I know it wasn’t Doug’s fault- he was just as fond of Gerry as we were.” Aaron looks down, feels ashamed again. He knows he’s just lashing out because he’s hurt, knows that Robert knows this too but he still wants to acknowledge his appreciation for his husband, he deserves to hear it. It can’t be easy for him to be in this position, wanting to support Doug and Diane who are his family and also stand by Aaron. Not once had he gotten angry over it though, managing to keep Aaron calm without falling out with Diane in the process.

“Thank you for- well I don’t know. Respecting my feelings I suppose even though I shouldn’t have treated Doug the way I have.”

“Aaron it’s okay- you’re upset, so am I. It’s just-“ He trails off, shaking his head slightly.

“I know.” Aaron says, squeezing Robert’s knee. “It never ends eh?”

Robert gives him a weak, understanding smile. “At least we have each other.”

Even though Aaron had been thinking the exact same thing just a minute ago, Robert’s words bring spontaneous tears to his eyes. “Don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here- I’d lose my head.”

Robert lets out a little laugh, “yeah same here. You know how I get.”

Aaron laughs in return, can already imagine the way Robert would be running around making things better and easier for Diane, while probably making the wrong decisions in the process.

“I will apologise to Doug, let him know that I know it’s not his fault- that it was nothing but a tragic accident. Gerry wouldn’t want this.”

Robert nods, “he really wouldn’t.” He whispers, eyes looking sad again and Aaron can’t help but hug him.

Aaron knows Gerry could be loud and slightly annoying and him living with them wasn’t something that Robert was particularly waiting for once he moved back into the Mill again but Aaron also knows Robert and knows that he has a big heart. He loved Gerry, just as much as he did.

Robert presses his nose into Aaron’s neck and mumbles, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Aaron says, holding him close.

Aaron knows they will get through this as long as they have each other.


	6. valentine's day 2019

“Dinner’s ready.” Aaron hears just seconds after he’s closed the door behind him.

Robert’s standing next to a fully laid table, there’s wine and candles and Aaron let’s out a little laugh that sounds slightly bewildered to his own ears.

It wasn’t like he had forgotten that today was Valentine’s day but a long drive out for a scrap deal meant that he thought there was going to be little time to celebrate. Aaron hadn’t minded the lack of plans they made for today, he wouldn’t say he’s a big fan of the celebration anyway. Most important of all was that this year it was Robert who he was once again able to call his Valentine, today and forever and that was more than enough. Well at least he thought so. But now Robert’s standing there with a beaming smile on his face, Aaron isn’t so sure. He can’t help but feel guilty. He knows he has shown off his own talent for romantic gestures last year but it still seemed to be very much Robert’s thing and Aaron felt inadequate.

February was a month full of meaning for them and when neither of them had brought up Valentine’s day plans, Aaron had assumed all of the celebrating was going be kept for their anniversary or _anniversaries,_ even.

That, and they had their hands full with the surrogacy, the both of them cautiously becoming more positive and excited about the prospect by the day.

Aaron’s glad he stopped off at David’s now to pick up the last of his doughnuts for Robert although that seemed like nothing compared to the effort Robert had put in. Aaron thinks of the card that’s still in the drawer of his bedside table. He had left for work when Robert was still fast asleep. At the time, leaving the card by his side didn’t seem right but now Aaron wished he had.

“Rob-“

“I hope you’re hungry.” Robert says before Aaron can say anything else, he’s still smiling so brightly and Aaron can’t help but mirror him.

“This is amazing. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“It’s Valentine’s day- the first one as legal husbands.”

That makes Aaron feel even guiltier. “Rob-“

But Robert doesn’t let him speak or even gather his thoughts. He’s already pulling at Aaron’s coat in an attempt to get it off him. He kisses Aaron’s forehead as he does so and Aaron can’t help but laugh at his husband.

“Rob- calm down for a second yeah?”

“Sorry- sorry I just missed ya. Do you want to eat straight away or do you just want some wine first?” Robert rambles on as he hangs up Aaron’s coat.

“Rob- just sit down for a minute will ya.” Aaron says as he goes to sit on the sofa, gesturing Robert to come and join him.

“Is there something wrong?” Robert turns around, looking worried now and that’s the last thing Aaron wanted. “Aren’t you hungry? Sorry I should have texted or called ya to ask but I didn’t want you talking on the phone while you were driving.”

Aaron sighs, once again patting the space next to him and Robert finally makes his way over to him.

As soon as he’s sitting down, Aaron grabs Robert’s hand, lays it on his own thigh. “Robert, all of this is amazing, I already know the food’s going to be amazing- that’s not it. I just wanted to talk to ya for a second. I’ve missed ya too you know.” Aaron’s half shaking his head, can’t have Robert thinking anything else. He takes a deep breath before uttering his next words. “I’m sorry about today- I should have cancelled. You’re right- it’s our first Valentine’s day as legal husbands. And I know we hadn’t really talked about doing anything today but I should have known that you would make an effort and I’ve got nothing to give ya in return.”

_They do this now, talking about their feelings._

“Aaron.” Robert looks upset, mouth downturned and Aaron hates how this always ends up happening.

“You can’t seriously think like that. We have had a lot on our minds and it’s just a day- it’s not any more special than any other day. Please don’t beat yourself up about this Aaron, that’s the last thing I wanted. You had to work today- it was a good deal and well, I didn’t have as much on so I had the time to cook us something nice.”

Aaron nods, blinking away the tears in his eyes, the exhaustion after a long day finally hitting him.

“Sorry-sorry you’re right. Genuinely this is amazing Rob, thank you.”

“You haven’t even tasted it yet.”

Aaron laughs, “I’m sure it will be great, what is it?”

“Pasta.” Robert says, a knowing smile on his face and Aaron lets out another laugh, shaking his head.

“I hate you.”

“Nah, you love me. What’s wrong with reminiscing eh?”

“Nothing I guess.” Aaron says before feeling slightly guilty again. “Even then you put in so much effort on this day.”

“I had to really, hadn’t I- it was the least I could do.”

Aaron shakes his head, despite it being a year ago now, he can still remember it all so vividly. “You hadn’t done anything wrong, I agreed to babysit Seb remember?”

Robert smiles, nodding. “This year I get to spend Valentine’s day with you _again,_ but now you’re actually mine and I don’t need anything else.”

His words shock Aaron and his eyes are full of tears within seconds. He hesitates before coming out with his own soppy response, knows that Robert deserves to hear it.

“You were always mine, even then.”

Robert’s looking at him in that way that always makes Aaron think about shying away before relishing in it.

“I love you- thank you.” Robert mumbles and Aaron shakes his head, knows what Robert’s thanking him for, even a whole year and a legal wedding later.

“Don’t be daft. I love you too, so much- you’re the only one I ever want to spend Valentine’s with.” Aaron says. All he remembers from this day last year was spending it with Robert, wanting him back, wanting Robert to be his again.

“That’s good to hear, husband.” Robert says, he’s beaming again and Aaron knows that there’s a dopey grin on his own face.

“Got you a little something though.” He says, suddenly sighting the plastic bag that he’d put on the coffee table earlier.

“You know me so well.” Robert smiles, looking genuinely pleased as he sees the doughnuts and Aaron shakes his head. “You and doughnuts, it’s all I need.” He says before Aaron has to shut him up with a kiss, can’t believe they haven’t even done this yet today.

It feels like they’ve been snogging like teenagers for hours when Aaron remembers his card.

“Got you a card as well.” He mumbles against Robert’s lips.

“Hmm, and there’s you saying you had nothing for me in return.”

Aaron laughs, diving in for one more kiss before putting some space between them. “Yeah best husband ever me.” He laughs but Robert looks serious, “you are.” And Aaron has to stop himself from moving closer again.

“Got you one as well.” Robert says as he walks over to the kitchen table, holding up a white envelope.

“Course you have.” Aaron smiles as he comes closer again, the card upstairs can wait.

“Love ya.” He says again as he grabs the envelope from Robert before putting it back on the table and wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck, bringing their foreheads together.

Maybe it’s not been the most perfect Valentine’s day, Aaron thinks as they are standing there, swaying in each other’s arms, but it was _them_ and besides, they have the rest of their lives to perfect their Valentine’s day celebrations.


	7. valentine's day 2021

Aaron’s heart hurts as he walks into their bedroom. Robert’s sitting on the edge of their bed, he’s wearing his own baggy jeans but that’s the only indication that he had been getting ready to go out for the day, his hands still tucked in the sleeves of Aaron’s hoodie that’s he’s taken to wearing recently.

“Aaron- I’m not sure if I can do this today. I’m sorry.”

Aaron sighs, carefully coming closer towards Robert. He kneels down in front of him and lays a hand on his knee. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. It’s fine, really. I don’t mind.”

“I know what today is, I haven’t forgotten.” Robert whispers.

“It doesn’t matter Rob- it’s just a day and besides, I have you. That’s all I need.”

“But- I said we’d go and I want to but I just don’t think I can face it.”

“Rob- it’s okay really.” Yesterday they had decided to go to the pub for lunch, Robert seemed up to it, pleased that it was something they could do to celebrate Valentine’s day. Since Robert’s been out of prison they’ve only been to the pub twice. Aaron knows the place makes Robert feel uncomfortable, despite his family being okay with them being back together because Aaron actually smiles again. Despite the pain he still feels at what has happened and the pain he feels as he watches Robert struggle, he’s happier than he’s been in a long time.

But busy and crowded places are still a problem for Robert but Aaron doesn’t mind, will wait however long it takes for Robert to feel comfortable again, and he would neve rpush him to do anything he doesn’t want to.

Whenever Aaron's at the shop, people ask him about Robert. It makes Aaron feel warm that so many of their neighbours care for Robert even though the older man doesn’t believe him whenever he tells him this. Aaron can only imagine what goes through Robert’s head on a daily basis. When Aaron got out of prison he really struggled, feels some of the effects even to this day. Robert’s been inside for over a year, Aaron’s not surprised he’s struggling so much but it doesn’t make it any easier to watch.

“But I said we’d go, it was my idea.” Robert says, he looks so upset with himself and Aaron’s heart breaks even more.

“I don’t care Robert. We have next year, and the year after.”

“You can go on your own. It’s Sunday after all. You haven’t been to the pub in ages and I know that’s because of me.”

“I don’t want to go without you.” Aaron says firmly. He wants to look into Robert’s eyes, but the older man’s got his head down, stares at Aaron’s hand on his thigh.

“You could be celebrating with absolutely anybody else right now, _you should be_.” Robert whispers, it’s so soft, Aaron can hardly make it out. He hears enough though, partly because Robert’s been saying stuff like this a lot.

“No, I couldn’t. I don’t want anyone else. You’re it for me.” Aaron will tell Robert every day if he has to, he’s never going to let him believe for one second that he isn’t worth it.

Robert sniffs, he’s still not looking up and Aaron grabs one of his hands and tucks it beneath his own.

“You remember Valentine’s day 2018? We talked about- well we talked about Alex, and how it was going and I said that there were still so many things that he didn’t now about me, that I hadn’t told him about yet.”

There’s a vague nod from Robert and Aaron continues. “You reassured me that Alex and I were still getting to know each other and I remember saying that we never had to do any of that stuff. That it wasn’t an effort to get to know each other. It didn’t seem like a task.”

“We did everything the wrong way round.” Robert whispers, looking up at him and Aaron nods, knows that Robert’s with him now.

“Yeah, you said that then too. And you know what? Maybe you were right but it worked didn’t it? It worked then and it worked after we got back together and it will work now. You’re all I want Robert. And I know it’s hard to believe right now but I promise it’s the truth. I don’t care how long it takes until we get back to normal, maybe it won’t ever be how it was before but as long as I have you I will be fine.”

“I told that I had gone on some dates before but they never worked out. I couldn’t be bothered to go through all the stages, because it felt like a massive effort. With us, I’ve never felt that way, I still don’t feel that way despite what your mind is telling you now. It’s you and me yeah? _Always.”_ His voice breaks at that, he’s never able to say that word without thinking about the day he lost Robert but he knows the older man needs to hear it, to remember.

Robert wipes a hand across his face before nodding. “I’m going to try and-“

“You’re already trying, every day. We will just take each day as it comes yeah? Just please let me in okay? Tell me how you feel, because I want to know.”

_I had to go without knowing how you were doing for so long, I can’t go through that again_

Aaron wishes the thought away, focusses on Robert once again. He stands up, presses a firm kiss on Robert’s forehead before grabbing the older man’s pyjama bottoms.

“Here, put these on again. How about we spend the day watching crappy tv, we can even have a takeaway later.”

Robert smiles weakly, Aaron can recognize a slight twinkle in his eyes and it’s the best Valentine’s gift he could possibly ask for.

“I love you, you know.” Robert says, voice still soft and gentle as he takes his pyjama bottoms from Aaron.

Aaron does know. “I love you too, so much. Now, what snacks shall I get from the shop?”

**Author's Note:**

> 🌹 find me on tumblr @enchantedsugden 🌹


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